5 Steps to Boost Your Confidence as a Compassionate Leader
In the latest video on my YouTube channel, I share 5 tips to boost your confidence, increase your influence, and become the best leader you can be.
So, here’s the question for heart-centered, compassionate leaders today:
Are you fully leveraging your strengths to make the biggest impact, or does self-doubt stand in your way from realizing your full potential?
Growing your confidence requires practice and strategies. My goal is to provide you with a road map. Once you have clarity, this journey becomes so much easier. Confidence is one of the most important ingredients that make compassionate leaders truly shine!
Step 1: Harness the power of your strengths.
Of course, this takes for granted two things: that you know your strengths AND that you act on them.
Knowing what you’re good at can be challenging, especially if your self-regard is not at its highest at the moment. Self-doubt is fairly normal from time to time (we all feel it occasionally), but you can’t let it dominate your thinking.
If you happen to find yourself in a doubtful frame of mind, think back to a situation where you were at your best (we all have those moments too!). This situation can be within any context: professional, sports, arts, hobby, etc. What were some of the qualities that helped you to succeed? Why were you able to perform so well and why did you feel so confident at the time? Also, you might want to take one of the strength assessments that are available.
When you act based on your strengths, you’re being true to yourself and your vision. You perform at your best because you’re using your greatest talents and skills. How can you be sure you’re doing this?
When you find yourself in a challenging or difficult situation, when you feel stressed, ask yourself: “Which of my strengths am I not using right now?” Then, refocus and put that talent or skill to work for you.
You can also try choosing one of the strengths for a week and intentionally practice it. The more you pay attention to your strengths – the more they grow. And, of course, the more you practice them – the more your confidence grows.
Step 2. Don’t dwell on your weaknesses.
It’s fairly common for a heart-centered and compassionate leader to focus on what isn’t working. While this may come from a place of empathy and understanding, it is counter-productive and, ultimately, self-defeating.
Generally, self-awareness and taking personal responsibility are excellent qualities, but don’t overdo it. Don’t force yourself to always “take the blame”. Self-analyzing to the point where you’re constantly asking yourself “What’s wrong with me?” is not self-awareness – it’s self-judgement of the worst kind.
Instead, re-focus on what’s right with you – and believe me, there’s always more right than wrong with you.
Step 3. Work on developing a realistic, balanced sense of self.
“Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.” – Vince Lombardi, famous football coach
Demanding perfection of yourself undermines your confidence because, as mentioned above, you can’t achieve it. None of us can. Neither can comparing yourself to other “perfect” people; a fantasy of someone who is never tired, never sick, never upset, always happy, and on top of everything. (Trying to be Wonder Woman, much?)
Get to know this comparison habit really well. Instead of falling into a hole of self-doubt in which you don’t measure up to this ideal, build your confidence by creating an image of yourself that’s both realistic and inspiring.
Step 4. Surround yourself with people who respect and champion you
Contrary to popular opinion of self-efficacy and self-reliance, humans are social beings. Social connections are important, and your close circle of relationships have a great impact on your wellbeing. You need a team of people who have your best interest at heart. (We all do!) If you have people like this in your life, keep nurturing and developing these relationships. If not, it’s time to develop a strategy to build your team. It’ll take time, but it’s totally worth it.
These relationships are precious and give you the safety net that you need (and will boost your confidence). It’s perfectly OK and healthy to rely on trustworthy people for support.
Step 5. Learn to receive, starting with receiving positive feedback.
It often seems counter-intuitive but too many empathetic people struggle with compliments. This may be because they are focused on the wellbeing of others but, learning to accept positive feedback will go a long way toward boosting your confidence. (This step is connected to the previous one but keep in mind that you’ll have your team when and if you’re ready to receive them.)
That being said, as a heart-centered and compassionate leader, you’re very good at giving – and, at times, over-giving. This leads to resentment and burn out from exhaustion and overextending yourself. It’s time to receive! Start with receiving positive feedback. If someone acknowledges you, your work, or your effort, don’t dismiss it. Don’t think of it as “being lucky”. Instead, say, “Thank you” and take it at face value as the compliment you deserve for a job well done!
Breath in, breath out, and notice what happens within yourself. It takes some practice but it’s worth it.
If you’re in a leadership position and know that you need to boost your confidence, I invite you to connect and book a free 1:1 Discovery call with me. Let’s dive into specifics and get to work right away.
Watch the video for more detail and insight and then, if you have more questions, feel free to contact me for answers.
