The words transformation and transformational journey have become catchwords in the world of coaching, whether for personal or professional purposes. With a truly simple meaning, transformation relates to “A marked change, as in appearance or character, usually for the better.” (Wordnick.com)
Where so many tend to get lost is in the practical application of the process, in the “How to” of the metamorphosis that must take place to find “the better” described above.
In my work as a Leadership and Executive Coach, I help heart-centered and compassionate leaders from all over the world gain confidence and increase their influence, becoming fully empowered. I work with both entrepreneurs and executives with pragmatic steps toward the change they seek.
While it’s not an overnight process, if the work gets done, the results can be something truly beautiful.
Transition, Change, and Acceptance
Back in November, I interviewed a client I began working with some six months ago. Christina Sayer is a recent graduate of my Transformational Leadership Program, and she was kind enough to share her beautiful journey with us in a video available on my YouTube channel.
As we began our chat, Christina was filled with gratitude for the guidance and support she received while transitioning from the life she expected to have to the life she’d been given. Her career had not blossomed as anticipated, she’d lost her husband suddenly, she was coping with Multiple Sclerosis, and yet her two children needed their mother, not a victim.
As she explains, “I was stuck, I was stuck in a crossroads. I just thought, wow, that just happened, right. So I was forty-five with two kids, 9 and 12, and I knew I could do victim mode. I could go into victim mode, and no one would blame me. It was just, so sudden.
“But that wasn’t who I am. It wasn’t resonating with me. So, I could also choose to go into, survival mode. Yeah, survival mode, on autopilot. I knew I was on autopilot. I knew I was just [coasting] through the world, not being present, not paying attention to anything. And I knew that wasn’t what I wanted.
“So I did what everybody does. I Googled it. And I just kept looking, and looking, and looking for things, and I found you [Maria]. And that’s what … brought me to your course; [that] I knew I didn’t wanna be on autopilot anymore. I needed to make some changes.”
A New Beginning
As we began working together, and I was just getting to know her, I could not help but be impressed with her commitment to the program. She was, after all, in the midst of an exceptionally challenging situation and a huge life transition. Yet, she had the courage and had committed herself to go through the process of dealing with her loss while at the same time finding the space for that transformation and a new beginning. I admit I was amazed how she was able to hold onto both of those spaces at the same time.
“I had help,” she continued, “because during that time period, after losing Mark, I realized I was an empath and a lightworker, and I became a coach on my own. So once I became a coach, I realized that it wasn’t enough. I was still, I’m supposed to be helping people as a coach, but I was still empty inside. There was still not that connection, of mindful presence. And to be here, what do I want? What questions [did I need] to ask myself.
“And so, even though I was a coach, it still didn’t feel like enough. And that’s the reason why I gravitated towards your program. Because it was centered around empaths. And it spoke to me in a way that my coaching course [hadn’t].”
In other words, despite having graduated from a training program for coaches and beginning her coaching business, Christina continued to struggle with restructuring her own life.
Moving Forward with Guidance and Support
Then during the Covid shutdown in her home country of Canada, “It allowed me time to look inside, to look internally and ask personal questions and do some healing and some growth. And, when I started [your] program, I had no idea, I had no idea what I was doing. I just knew, something told me, this is what you need to do. So, try it out, see how it feels. I [realized] I had a very low self-regard. And once the program started, I started to realize that … I needed to show myself more self-love. And that was a huge stepping stone.
“But, by far, the game-changer of this course was when you taught me how to slow down, slow down in work, slow down in life. It was something that I already knew, but I had to reteach myself how to do it because whatever I was doing was not slow. I think I was programmed as a child to [think] the show must go on. You know, I have to keep pushing through. And the more you do the better you’ll look and [feel].
“Once I was able to be mindful in some of the mindfulness exercises. I was able to kind of catch my breath and start taking a look around and asking better questions. It really helped me out.”
Christina’s Transformational Journey Begins
I have to say, the insightfulness of her next statement is truly impressive:
“For so long, I was following the leader. Now I had no leader, right. So, I had to become the leader. So, I had to be the one that was checking, making the marks in the snow. You know, I had to go on my own path. I had to start asking, what I liked, what’s important to me, what do I need? And so, when I started doing that, it just brought me to another place of healing and another place of my journey that each step was just one step closer.”
She continued, “I guess, for the most part, I was able to take perceived negative things and turn them into more possibilities, more positive outlooks of things. [I realized] what was happening, was happening for me rather than to me and I wasn’t going to be a victim because that wasn’t who I was. I wasn’t gonna resort to that. I was going to definitely not be on autopilot either.
“[I knew] I was going to get through it. I was going to find ways of getting the results. It may take me a lot longer, it may take me a different way that people look at you and go, “Why is she doing it that way?” But I still was able to stay true to myself and be slow … But, I didn’t look at it as that was a bad thing, I looked at it as a good thing. And I was able to take almost every situation I was in and turn it into something positive and productive.
And the Results are Beautiful
“And I may not be done first, and it may not be done perfectly. What was really important for me in my journey is to realize that, it doesn’t have to be perfect. You’re human, you’re allowed to not do it right every time or that time or the next time it’s okay, I forgave myself. And that was another huge, huge stepping stone on my journey. Was that it’s okay that you overeat, it’s okay, that you drank too much. It’s okay that you yelled that day. I knew these things and I forgave myself for them.
“And I pushed through, and I went through, I should say, with ease that, it wasn’t something that I needed to push through. It was something that I needed to walk through.”
“What did I start enjoying? I think hands down, it was recognizing how wonderful my kids are and how much I can be a part of their lives and I can be present in their lives. That was huge, because before it was just all in reaction mode and now I’m partaking, and I’m not taking things personally. And I guess with my self-regard, it’s more just like, let’s enjoy ourselves together. And that togetherness has really come full circle. It’s nice because as much as I give, I’m definitely getting back tons.”
There is more to appreciate in Christina’s transformational journey that you will surely enjoy if you watch the video interview on my YouTube channel. (It lasts just a bit over 20 minutes.)
Now, it must be said that, while Christina was dealing with a host of issues that derailed her life, most of my clients struggle with one or two. However, it’s not really about the number of challenges you’re facing but the way they impact your life and career. Finding the path to change is different for everyone and requires patience, professional guidance, and empathetic support.
I can provide all of these things and more in my Transformational Leadership Program. To get started on your transformation… Feel free to contact me for answers.
