Confidence or Competence – A Chicken and Egg Question for Compassionate Leaders
What comes first for a leader, confidence or competence? Or, do they merge and grow together? When one considers that solid leadership tends to be the exception rather than the norm, it seems important to answer how capability and conviction may be related. This would also help us understand why so many in leadership positions tend to be overconfident, despite poor performance (in reference to the exception vs norm argument above).
Put simply, “The better prepared you are, the more competent you will feel. And the more competent you feel, the more confident you will act. The more repetitions, the more competence, the more confidence.” (Quora.com)
Further, while competence can inspire increased confidence, the reverse is rarely true. That is, simply because you may feel capable and confident in a given situation, if your skillset is somehow lacking, your ability to perform will suffer – as will your confidence level.
As explained by organizational psychologist and leadership development expert Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, “Confidence (how good you think you are) is primarily beneficial when it is in sync with your competence (how good you actually are).”
Competence Comes Before Confidence
This would certainly seem to imply that competence is the path to increased confidence – or should be. Yet, we all know someone whose arrogance far exceeds their skillset and talent levels, despite holding a leadership position. Such overconfident personalities will always have a negative effect on their organizations, leading to stressful relationships among subordinates or team members.
Why does this happen? According to Chamorro-Premuzic again, “Unsurprisingly, the mythical image of a ‘leader’ embodies many of the personality characteristics commonly found in personality disorders, such as narcissism… psychopathy… histrionic… or Machiavellian personalities. The sad thing is not that these [traits] are unrepresentative of the average manager, but that the average manager will fail precisely for having these [traits].”
That is, the very traits which enable them to rise to a leadership position will inevitably be their downfall as a leader.
How Compassionate Leadership Can Change This Dynamic
In her article at Forbes.com, titled Compassionate Leadership: A Mindful Call To Lead From Both Head And Heart, author/contributor Margie Warrell makes a compelling case that:
“The stage has been set for a new approach to leadership that transcends the traditional measures of organizational performance, to take care of the human condition at the heart level. Compassionate Leadership.”
She sees this as a holistic approach to leadership, using corporate mindfulness programs to help employees become more in tune with “what they are thinking and feeling and teaching ways to engage the body to short-circuit our physiological response to fear and anger, they can better manage the emotions that often hijack rational behavior.”
Warrell takes her lead in this from “Marc Lesser, co-founder and former CEO of SIYLI, [who] believes that a central aspect of cultivating mindfulness is in deepening both our compassion for ourselves and others. Lesser breaks compassion down into three core domains:
- Empathy: Feeling as somebody else is feeling (however uncomfortable)
- Cognitive: Seeking to understand what somebody else is thinking and why they came to hold their opinion (requiring mindful listening)
- Motivation: Trying to take care of the concerns of others and reduce their suffering”
“By practicing genuine empathy,” she writes, “leaders are better positioned to cultivate mindfulness in others, enabling them to both fulfill their own potential and to unleash it in those around them for a greater good.”
All of this runs in direct opposition to the behavior of the arrogant leader mentioned above; the overconfident incompetent who can’t conceive their own ineffectiveness.
Where Empathy Fits into Leadership
Psychologist and author Sherri Campbell bolsters the argument for compassionate leadership in her article for Entrepreneur.com.
“To be great, leaders must have the necessary empathy to inspire understanding and knowledge in team members. Empathy is key. Empathy begins with taking an understanding of life from the experience and perception of another. When empathy is present, defensiveness decreases and something positive replaces it.”
She goes on to explain how, “Empathy opens doors and removes confusion. It softens the minds and hearts of others. When people are open, this is exactly when the compassionate leader can be more creative in solving problems in ways that drive productivity and long-term success.”
Such leadership removes barriers between managers and reports, as well as between team members. Selfishness becomes a thing of the past, with reciprocal communication being the norm. Values become shared and standards rise, while knowledge is shared rather than hoarded for some perceived advantage.
Passion for the work improves through meaning and joy is found in meeting expectations; of self and others. Excellence too becomes expected, rather than unusual. Individuals seek growth and development instead of simply “putting in their time”.
As Margie Warrell is fond of saying, “Compassionate leadership begins with the intention to see as others see and feel as other feel.” Such competence as a compassionate leader will result in a huge boost in confidence, and the two will then feed upon each other and grow stronger over time.
In other words, as a compassionate leader you will no longer wonder about whether confidence or competence is more important, you’ll know you have both.
I am available for a consultation if you are struggling to find the necessary balance between competence and confidence that will enable you to become a truly compassionate leader. Click here to find out how and to schedule your free call.
