In this leadership coaching case study and interview, I want to introduce a woman who had a good amount of emotional intelligence to start with but who was overdoing it a bit in the empathy department. In other words, her concern for others was interfering with her concern for herself and her family.
In my EQ-I Transformational Leadership Program, I work with empathetic and heart-centered leaders from all over the world. Together, we transform the way they live and lead so they can really step into their power, enabling them to live fulfilled and happy lives.
Today it’s my great joy and pleasure to introduce you to Linda Soriano, a recent graduate of the program. She is a mother, regional marketing director representing an international corporation for the Americas, and Vice President of PR for a local women’s empowerment Toastmasters group in Greenville, South Carolina.
Needless to say, with so many irons in the fire, Linda found herself struggling to set priorities while trying to overcome overwhelm and burnout.
As she explains:
“I was working for a company where my entire team, they were remote, so everybody worked in the United Kingdom where the corporate office was, and I worked in the office for the U.S., so I was responsible for all of North America and Latin America marketing. And I soon realized that I was juggling more than I could handle. It was a very high demand high pressure position, and we were moving at such a fast pace, and I just didn’t want to drop the ball. I was very passionate about my work, and that was my thing at that time. I just wanted to make sure I got everything done and on time, so I’d try to take on more than I could and I realized that I was burning out, so I knew that I needed to figure out how to fix that.”
The almost inevitable result of this was anxiety and guilt: she felt anxious that she was letting down her team while feeling guilty that she was not spending enough time with her young son.
Finding the Courage to Let Go
This reaction is fairly common in the work I do; a vicious cycle in which, on one hand, you feel that something needs to change regarding your schedule at work, because you really want to tend to your other priorities in life, including family.
Yet, on the other hand, you are so anxious about actually letting things go or structuring things differently that it can increase feelings of anxiety, because you think: “Okay if I do this then something will be broken”, or “I will not be so efficient”, etc. And this is one of the things that people notice a lot when they’re approaching that kind of situation – a really unhealthy point on the edge of burnout and overwhelm.
When Linda shared her thoughts, along with what she learned as a result of the coaching program, the problem became clear:
“I’m a very empathetic person. So I’m always mindful of everybody’s feelings, and that is one of my strengths is what I learned, but also, it can also be a weakness in certain situations because I carry that emotion so high all the time. And I think that’s why I got so caught up in not being able to speak up about my work load because I was scared I would hurt people’s feelings.”
“Now, [thanks to the training] I learned a lot about emotional intelligence and how we can tone up certain areas or emotions or either tone down the emotions in certain situations.”
As Linda discovered when we worked together, real empathy starts with empathy and compassion toward ourselves. This is what leads you to develop the courage to let go and take care of yourself first; to focus on what matters to you even before those for whom you feel empathy.
Of course, there is a great deal more to Linda’s story, including the transition she made in a new direction for her career. However, I don’t want to give away the Big Reveal in this leadership coaching case study, so please, to learn more about Linda’s journey, watch the interview today: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OcvFAw4RN4s&feature=youtu.be
As a side note, Linda will be on the panel of speakers at The Breathe Women’s Conference, which is being held November 9th in Greenville, SC.
If you would you like to learn more about how to be an effective leader, through improving your leadership skills and the enhanced use of emotional intelligence in the workplace, click here to schedule your FREE Discovery Call.
