How often have you thought, or said aloud, “I’m too busy to get that done?” Or, “I’m too busy to do that for you/them/the boss”, or even, “for myself?” Turns out, the “I’m too busy” Boogie Man looms large in far too many of our lives. This causes burnout and work-life conflict, as opposed to the highly valued yet rarely achieved ideal of work-life balance.
Further, it seems that truly compassionate, heart-centered leaders are the worst offenders. While they often express a desire for work-life balance, for their teams if not themselves, their actions just as often contradict this desire. They may respond to emails at midnight or during weekends. They’ll often return text messages during and after dinner with their families. And, they may have no idea what the words “day off” and “vacation” mean!
It’s as if their empathetic nature blinds them to the conflicts and contradictions in their own lives. They will wonder why they can’t find a healthy balance between life and work, then skip their daughter’s volleyball game to meet with and support an associate who’s going through emotional turmoil.
Many are oblivious to the fact that their willingness to “go the extra mile” for others, to overwork, undermines what they say they value. Others may recognize what poor role models they make as proponents of work-life balance, yet have no idea how to change it.
In a perfect world, it would be easy to find that balance we all want. Simply log out of your email at the end of every workday and ignore text messages that are not from friends or family. Easy peasy, right? Not so much.
It’s Urgent, But is it Important?
Busyness has become a status symbol in our culture. Some impress themselves at work, where everyone can see how “hard” they’re working. Others may amaze the neighbors with a packed-to-overflowing schedule. For them, working long hours and/or being constantly “on the go” implies increased importance. After all, if others are impressed by how important you are, you should be impressed with yourself too.
Here’s the thing though; much of what keeps us busy feels urgent at the moment but isn’t all that important. Hence, the phrase “busy work”.
Deadlines come and go while things that truly matter, especially thorny problems that never seem to get resolved, will persist. We’ve all attended meetings where the agenda is loaded with the same issues as the last one. – and the next one! If they’re that important, shouldn’t they eventually find some sort of resolution? Yet, how many times have you instead been forced to perform mundane tasks, perhaps because someone else failed to take care of them, and so they became “Urgent”?
Then there’s that irritating thing we call human nature, the common belief that the busier we are the more focused we become, making us “more productive”. (Which, by the way, is not true as research has shown. In fact, we actually lose IQ points in this narrowly focused, hectic state of mind.)
Here’s where the “I’m too busy” Boogie Man makes himself known. If being overly busy signals dedication and leadership potential while interfering with life itself, we’ve created a paradox. Some call it the “busyness paradox”. It takes little imagination to picture an environment where everyone seems busy yet none are productive, since most of us have experienced exactly that at some point. This then begs the question of how to measure productivity in a knowledge-based economy.
How to Cope with Burnout
Most people know they need to balance work and life more effectively than they do. (How could they not with the phrase “work-life balance” seemingly on every other website they visit?) Yet, many live with ongoing work-life conflict, instead.
Why? The reasons can range from anxiety triggered by fear of missing out, to challenges with self-regard. Or, there may be an array of ingrained habits and limiting beliefs that restrain them from finding the balance and happiness they seek.
That’s when the evil Burnout Monster shows up. And, since heart-centered leaders tend to be over-givers, setting limits on themselves can be difficult. If you find yourself frequently saying “I’m too busy” and fear you may be heading toward burnout, you should:
- Identify and focus on important outcomes instead of reacting and responding to the never-ending demands of your environment.
- Slow down and stop over-investing your energy in fulfilling other people’s demands and needs.
- Know what feels rewarding in your work and create these experiences throughout the day.
- Know when it’s time to move on to new adventures vs. staying stuck in unfulfilling roles/job descriptions.
- Train your mind to do high-quality work that requires your unique expertise and competency. Then, hold close those blocks of time during the week for this high-value work as if your life depends on it – because it does.
Ultimately, you must navigate your way through all the busy work and urgent but unimportant tasks foisted upon you to act in ways that lead to winning results for YOU.
In my years of work with executives in a variety of industries, I’ve found these to be the foundation for building a more mindful approach to leadership that enables you to be compassionate toward others – but also to yourself. By addressing burnout at its core, you will be able to “get in the driver’s seat” of your energy, wellbeing, and purpose.
Implementing these steps on your own is much easier said than done, however. Then again, I am always available for long-term intervention that works – instead of trying different symptom fixes which tend to last a couple of weeks before giving up and reverting to the good ole “I’m too busy” burnout model.
Do you need help finding a healthy work-life balance? Feel free to contact me for answers.
