Bullies have always existed, and likely always will. From grade school through high school and from college into the workforce, most of us have been bullied at some point in our lives. While most of us have also learned to overcome these experiences, workplace bullying persists and is rarely addressed effectively by employers.

In fact, the great majority of workplace bullies, nearly two-thirds, are found in supervisory roles, making employer intervention difficult in the extreme.

All of this begs the question of whether bullying in the workplace is really a problem, or whether employees have simply become overly affected by what some may describe as our hyper-sensitive culture.

According to the Workplace Bullying Institute, the problem is very real, with serious negative effects on the target of workplace bullying. The results of their 2017 Workplace Bullying Survey offers insight into the depth of the problem:

• 19% of Americans are bullied, another 19% witness it
• 61% of Americans are aware of abusive conduct in the workplace
• 4 million Americans are affected by workplace bullying
• 70% of perpetrators are men; 60% of targets are women
• 61% of bullies are bosses, the majority (63%) operate alone
• 40% of bullied targets are believed to suffer adverse health effects
• 29% of targets remain silent about their experiences
• 71% of employer reactions are harmful to targets
• 60% of coworker reactions are harmful to targets

Perhaps most telling is this: in an effort to stop being bullied, 65% of targets leave jobs.

Reasons for Bullying Behavior

The reasons for bullying behavior can vary, from envy and jealousy of more successful or talented coworkers to simple resentment of physical attractiveness, intelligence, personality, or perceived preferential treatment (whether true or not).

However, these are mere justifications for the bully’s abusive actions. A lot of  people who exhibit bullying behavior are not aware that their behavior is bullying. Their lower level of self awareness, impulse control, and communication skills prevents them from seeing the negative effects of their behavior on others.

At a fundamental level, the bully seeks power; trying to drain the power from coworkers in an effort to gain control and dominance. Understanding this need in a workplace bully is the first step to resisting their abusive behavior.

Needless to say, the cost of bullying in the workplace is high, to both individuals and the business (which we will explore in a future post).

How to Stop Workplace Bullying

The reason most bullies continue their behavior is simple – because they can. In some cases, when called out and confronted with their abusive behavior, whether by a superior or a victim, they will stop. In some – they will not.

At a fundamental level, bullies are cowards with little self-regard or confidence which makes confronting them about their behavior the most effective path for ending it.

Interestingly, and based on the latest research, because most targets of bullying tend to be non-confrontational personalities, if adults work to build their self-esteem and assertiveness skills, it is much less likely that they will be targeted by workplace bullies.

This does not mean, however, that it is only the responsibility of a bullied employee to stand up for themselves. Overall, workplace culture plays a significant role in whether or not the bullying behaviors in the workplace will continue. When the C-suit and HR department allow the people with low emotional intelligence yet high performance stay in the positions of power, the vicious cycle of bulling will unlikely stop.

On the contrary, when leaders are the “gate keepers” of respectful, inclusive, and value driven context – bullying will not thrive. It will simply be inappropriate and not tolerated. Further, these workplace cultures will have a selection process that will prevent people with bullying behaviors from joining the team in the first place.

An article at Forbes.com offers four additional steps to overcome workplace bullying:

• Address The Situation Head-On – While it’s tempting to seek revenge or stoop to their level, and can be frightening, the best first step is addressing the situation on the spot. Sometimes this is exactly what the bully needs to realize they’ve overstepped boundaries. As uncomfortable as it may be, practicing courage will show the bully you’re not as easy as a target as they initially thought.
• Confide In Someone You Trust – Studies show people who are bullied experience stress, damaged self-esteem, impaired physical and emotional health and weakened cognitive functioning. Having someone to confide in can help victims see they’re not the problem and they’re not alone. Feeling helpless and disempowered at a place where one-third of your life is spent can lead to depression and severely interfere with one’s well being.
• Document Every Detail, Big And Small – What allows workplace bullying to get out of control and go undisciplined is the lack of evidence associated with it. Taking a proactive approach and documenting all incidents with the date and time will help expose patterns of behavior and create a timeline of events. If there were any witnesses, make sure to include them in the document as well. According to the law, employees must show they were specifically targeted.
• Stick To Facts And Report to Higher Management Levels – The key is remaining calm and presenting facts without allowing the emotions, particularly anger, take over. If having a meeting and confronting the manager or individual has occurred and nothing has improved, the next step is to report it to a senior ranking person above them. Often times their boss is unaware of the situation and can offer solutions to prevent it from continuing such as relocating or changing jobs within the company.

While these steps are all important, one of the biggest challenges employees face in a toxic workplace environment is to become aware that they are not being treated fairly are respectfully. When the workplace culture normalizes microaggression and bullying, people who are being bullied are reluctant to stand up for themselves, start to doubt their judgment, and find justification for the non acceptable behavior of the person in power.

Whether workplace bullying is more prevalent than before, or we have simply become more aware of it, the cost in time, energy, money, and stress to employees is too high to ignore. An effective leader will refuse to allow such behavior on any level and will take action to curb it, with serious consequences to the workplace bully.

I can help you improve the leadership skills required to end workplace bullying while building high performance teams, work to improve emotional intelligence, and improve both the personal and professional relationships in your life. Click here to schedule your FREE Discovery Call.