Manage, regulate, oversee, direct, drive, influence, master, and lead are all synonyms for the word “control”, and each could be considered a positive leadership characteristic.
Then again, words like rule, curb, hinder, restrain, contain, command, dominate, and manipulate are also synonymous with control, though they can hardly be considered positive.
Either way, an obsession with control is a sure sign of perfectionism and, when it dominates every aspect of your life, it can lead to high anxiety and increased stress.
Such an obsession with control is a hallmark of maladaptive perfectionism; a compulsive form of perfectionism that is ill suited to leading a happy life – and is not a positive leadership characteristic.
While being a perfectionist is not all bad, it has certainly gotten a bad rap lately. Striving to be the best while being self-motivated are extremely positive personality traits for leaders. But, as with most behaviors, there is a limit that, when exceeded, can have very negative consequences.
To put the pursuit of perfection in context, it may help to consider the following quotation from legendary American football coach Vince Lombardi:
“Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.”
Thus, the pursuit of excellence becomes a highly valued quality in everyone, with little chance of such a pursuit devolving into the negative leadership characteristics caused what may be said to define maladaptive perfectionism.
Are You a Perfectionist?
To help you answer this question, we offer this definition of perfectionism from a lesson at Study.com:
“Simply put, perfectionism can be defined as the need to be near-flawless. It is a term used to describe people who set extremely high expectations and standards for themselves and then have difficulty coping when these standards are not met. Some researchers argue that all forms of perfectionism are maladaptive, or have negative impacts on the person. Most, however, categorize perfectionism into two categories: adaptive and maladaptive.”
Stated even more simply, “maladaptive perfectionism can be characterized by perfectionism that gets in the way of leading a successful and happy life.”
Negative or Positive Leadership Characteristics
Here are a few of the most common symptoms of an overly controlling personality – a maladaptive perfectionist.
- Without procrastination, you’d never get anything done: When you are so worried about being perfect that get little done until your back is against a wall, if at all, your impossible standards are getting in the way of being productive.
- Being the focus of attention makes you anxious: By avoiding the center ring in the circus of social settings you are able to avoid the humiliation caused by others realizing you are not actually perfect. If you’re constantly on edge when socializing and criticize your every move, it could be a sign you’re overly perfectionistic.
- New and different = fear of failure: If you can avoid new situations and learning new things, you can also avoid enduring the learning curve that will show you’re not already expert at everything.
- Detached relationships are the best relationships: Feeling the need to “always be right” is an easy way to sabotage relationships of all types. Keeping your distance from people who may criticize you prevents the possibility of dealing with shame that comes with being reminded that you’re not perfect.
- Mistakes are for others: Since you never make mistakes, admitting to flaws in judgment or negative behaviors is for others, not someone who is perfect – like you.
It should be fairly obvious by now that there are, indeed, potentially negative consequences to being a perfectionist, especially when it becomes obsessive.
On the other hand, adaptive perfectionism is defined in the literature as perfectionism that is healthy and normal and relates to an intense effort that is put forth to achieve a certain goal. Such individuals set high, but realistic standards, for themselves and do not resort to harsh self-criticism when these standards are not reached.
This is the very definition of a positive leadership characteristic!
Emotional intelligence exercises are designed to reduce stress and help you feel more balance between work and life, and can help you put your perfectionist tendencies in a proper perspective.
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