Is There Such a Thing as Good Anger? Or, is Anger Always Bad for You?

While most of us can agree on what it means to be angry, it comes with different qualities and flavors that can vary greatly from one person to another. Of course, this begs the question of whether it is always bad for you to feel angry, or if there is good anger that can benefit you in some way.

Experiencing anger per se is not a problem. In fact, it is a healthy and normal emotion and can be a great teacher. It’s purpose is to show you that something is not going well for you. In many cases, it points out that some of your core values have been violated in some way.

In an adaptation from the book The Upside of Your Dark Side, at the UC Berkeley website for the Greater Good Science Center, authors Todd Kashdan and Robert Biswas-Diener explain it like this:

“Anger is best viewed as a tool that helps us read and respond to upsetting social situations. Research overwhelmingly indicates that feeling angry increases optimism, creativity, effective performance – and [further] suggests that expressing anger can lead to more successful negotiations, in life or on the job.”

So it would seem that yes, there is such a thing as good anger; and no, it is not always bad!

What Happens When You Act on Your Anger

Anger as emotion and behavior-based that is on anger are two very different things. Acting directly on your anger coming from a place where the logical long-term thinking we call rational is not available. You are wired like that for survival purposes. When your survival is at stake you can’t afford to take the time to consider things rationally. It can cost your life.

In such a situation, you will either run away, attack or go numb. It might not be rational but it helps you to survive. Unless you have developed emotional awareness to respond differently, it will happen automatically.

The real problem occurs when you are not aware of your anger and direct it at people who have nothing to do with its triggers. This can show up as shaming them, for example. Conflict can develop if you do not take action steps that are within your control to resolve the situation. Avoid dealing with anger by retreating into unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as alcohol or other substances to numb the pain.

Self-awareness and compassion offer an alternative to the common “You are wrong, I am right” approach, but it takes slowing down. Then, a shift is possible – from blaming and shaming to actions that create change and dialogue. “Please help me understand” is a good place to start this dialogue from.

What About “Irrational” Anger?

According to an article at PsychologyToday.com, your anger is justified and healthy. Rather than being simply frustrated and annoyed, the issues you’re facing are real and aggravating.

“Justifiable anger is having a sense of moral outrage at the injustices of the world: whether it’s the destruction of the environment, oppression of human rights, cruelty towards animals, violence in the community, or an abusive relationship at home.”

Yet, they also caution that, while “Justifiable anger may have benefits in the short term, [because] its intensity can be channeled into passion and action for change… any type of anger over time is inherently unhealthy, as it robs us of our peace of mind and causes suffering within. Feeling angry on a regular basis for any reason only hurts oneself in the long run.”

What it Means

Certainly, frustration over enforcement of social distancing regulations and their effects on business and the economy at large certainly justify a certain level of anger. Such collective trauma surely offers many a rational reason to feel angry.

The systemic oppression and racism is a root cause of justified anger among many who’ve recently “taken to the streets”. From a “rational” perspective, it does not make sense to use violence to fight oppression. Yet, people who feel oppressed are constantly in survival mode because their basic needs are not being met. They are simply not in a frame of mind that enables them to act rationally. They feel like they are running out of “rational” options.

In turn, many of the people who can act rationally are likely enjoying the privilege of having their basic needs met. They are hesitant to work toward systemic changes unless peaceful protests become violent. And then the loop inevitably repeats itself. Unless we choose differently this time – using our good anger instead of our bad.