Among the many, many positive characteristics of heart-centered leaders, there are two that are not as beneficial as they may seem. These are the tendency to work harder than anyone else, along with the need to do so tirelessly. When combined, these traits are pretty much the definition of overgiving and overwhelm.
That is, the almost compulsive need to always do more (overgiving) in an effort to ensure that you are the solution to every problem, regardless of how it impacts your quality of life (overwhelm).
This is the mindset, a truly generous way of thinking by the way, that can set you on a path that will drain your energy and enthusiasm and make your days seem never-ending – what I call the Overgivers Hamster Wheel.
You’re familiar with the hamster wheel, right?
“A hamster wheel or running wheel is an exercise device used primarily by hamsters and other rodents … Hamster wheels allow rodents to run even when their space is confined.” (Wikipedia)
That description fails to mention what is obvious to the rest of us, that, regardless of effort, the rodent never gets anywhere. The same is true of the Overgivers Hamster Wheel. No matter how hard or fast you go, you never reach the Finish Line!
How to Stop the Overgiver’s Hamster Wheel
Ultimately, the hamster wheel is a survival device, a mindset with actions that, rather than moving you forward, are holding you back as a heart-centered leader. These derailers are so irresistible that you keep getting into the same trap over and over again. In the meantime, life goes on, and years pass by. The big illusion of “sometime later” has not yet happened to anyone alive. Instead, that wheel just keeps on spinning as you keep running!
Constantly running on the Overgiver’s Hamster Wheel is what leads to Overwhelm among heart-centered leaders. It is energy-draining, frustrating, and wasteful. You work harder and harder with ever more effort toward the same results. All you have to remember is that the hamster on the wheel is always running, going faster and faster, yet never reaching the end… In fact, that wheel is designed to guarantee the hamster will ALWAYS fail!
Unfortunately, wishing and hoping the hamster wheel will break down so you can get off is a losing proposition. No, you built it so gotta break it!
Deliberately choosing the path of least resistance; of less effort, pain, and suffering is the skill you must learn to make your way out of the overgiver’s hamster wheel. Being there comes from a deeply engraved belief that you must constantly work hard and overstretch yourself to get what you want but – it’s your choice where you direct that energy.
Shift your focus from pleasing others to doing what’s good for you (for once) and you’ll begin to slow the spin of that wheel and, eventually, stop it, dismount, and move on.
Taking the Next Steps to Stop Overgiving and Overwhelm
I’m here to tell you that there’s still enough time to get off the overgiver’s hamster wheel and the emotional rollercoaster that accompanies it. You can reclaim your inner freedom, as well as assertiveness and well-balanced self-regard in a lot of wildly successful ways.
I won’t insult your intelligence and tell you that some artificial intelligence or robot is coming after your job.
I also won’t claim that you will be homeless or living in a trailer if you don’t train your assertiveness and negotiation skills and start to actively request and receive what you deserve in life (starting with a raise, maybe?)
But make no mistake: we’re in a different world now. Things are changing. FAST. You have more power and possibilities now to design the life you want than in the last decade. As I mentioned in one of my previous blog posts, millions of people are leaving their jobs for “greener pastures”. This mass exodus has never happened before.
I don’t want to sound melodramatic, but this is not just about your career – this is your LIFE we’re talking about here!
You should never put yourself, let alone your mental and physical health, in a vulnerable position because of your fear of letting go, discomfort with things and relationships ending, and scarcity mindset. I am here to support and help you, should you feel you need it. To get started on your transformation… Feel free to contact me for answers.
