All of us, every single one of us, have developed belief systems to cope with the world. (Obvious, much?) When everything lines up properly for us, the things we believe help us in positive ways and enable our success. Then there are what are known as limiting beliefs, and these tend to hold us back in spite of all desires and needs to succeed. Resilience training can help you overcome these deeply ingrained convictions.

(Uh oh, here we go again, telling you all success comes from within!)

What are Limiting Beliefs?

The experiences you have in life – beginning at a very young age – go a long way toward determining what you believe about the world, other people, and yourself. Further, all of your perceptions, and beliefs about reality shape every experience you have at present. This, in turn, shapes your behaviors; the actions that you take on a daily basis in your life.

These daily actions form patterns and lead you in one or the other direction. You have years and years of practicing your belief system. Within your belief system, the beliefs that you have about yourself are of utmost importance.

There are times when what you think of as positive beliefs, and the behaviors that follow, can become limiting. In other words, a system of beliefs that developed as a positive way of coping with certain challenges can turn into a difficult life experience with unexpected outcomes.

These beliefs are especially difficult to let go of – some of my clients compare it to letting go of the harness while you are still climbing. After all, they were so helpful so many times that you relate to them as you would to long term, true friends. Noticing the point where your old belief system is not working any longer and needs an update before going into downward spiral is a lifelong skill, and the more you train it – the more you increase your psychological flexibility. It requires curiosity, self-compassion, and self-awareness.

Overcoming Limiting Beliefs with Resilience Training

At their core, limiting beliefs are deeply held convictions that restrain you in some way. Simply by believing them, you will not feel, think, say or do the things that they inhibit; whether for good or ill. By holding them so closely, you diminish yourself and impoverish your life. (As do we all.)

From a fundamental level, your limiting beliefs damage your self-esteem, tarnishing your belief in your own talents, as well as your ability to find happiness, success, and fulfillment in life and work.

Resilience training can help you overcome the types of beliefs that limit your capacity for living a happy life; beliefs most often expressed as:

• I don’t deserve this – because I’m never good enough.
• I just got lucky – it’s not my true accomplishment.
• Success comes only through a great deal of struggle – no pain no gain
• I should be grateful for what I already have – not taking risks, standing up for yourself and settling for secure but unfulfilling options
• I will never be as… (convincing, powerful, engaging, charismatic – fill in the blank)…as XYZ
• I need to wait until (my partner gets their MBA, my children grow up, our company gets new investors, policies will change – putting yourself and your needs as the least important priority and waiting, waiting for something outside to change. Sometimes this waiting takes many years

Such internal conflict can be incredibly stressful, creating a truly vicious cycle of distress, fear, and self-doubt.

Often, you become aware of these beliefs in the face of adversity. Resilience is the art and science of going through difficult life experiences and not only bouncing back after them, but using them as a platform for growth, for revisiting and transforming the limiting beliefs and emotions that are arising with them.

Resilience Skills & Mindfulness

But, as shared in a previous post, resilience training and mindfulness exercises will empower you toward overcoming your limiting beliefs. This will enable you to cope more effectively with difficult emotions, whether your own or those of others, from a far more positive place; with a mindset of confidence, calm, and presence.

This will feel counter-intuitive at first, especially if your habitual conditioned response to unpleasantness and discomfort is either ignoring it, hoping it will disappear, or falling apart.

Resilience training will help you overcome your limiting beliefs, reduce stress, and improve your mindset, while helping you feel a greater balance between work and life, improve your sense of empathy, and increase happiness.

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