One of the more effective leadership qualities you can develop is to understand the influence of the attachment patterns you’ve developed throughout life. Since attachment styles define the patterns in which you form perception of yourself and other people, being conscious of them will determine how you interact with others, in the workplace and in your personal life.

These cognitive and affective patterns, which are developed from early childhood, will activate behaviors that define your level of adjustment, functioning, and positive adaptation throughout your lifetime in the key areas of your life: personal, interpersonal, and social.

In terms of emotional intelligence, your patterns of attachment will also influence what we refer to as self-regard; your sense of self-respect, inner strength, and self-confidence.

Recent research into attachment styles has revealed a link between high attachment anxiety and unstable self-esteem. That is, individuals with a secure attachment style have a well-balanced self-regard, while insecure individuals have either enhanced self-reliance and unrealistic infused model of self, or low self-esteem, seeking for approval of others.

Obviously, these are not very effective leadership qualities.

Further, “[Individuals] with higher relationship anxiety tend to develop negative concepts of the self as being unlovable and incapable and therefore intensify their distress experiences to increase attention and care from others. As such, their self-concepts are more likely to be influenced by others’ responses in social interactions, so their self-concepts are lower in clarity, and their self-evaluations are vulnerable.” (Wu, The relationship between attachment style and self-concept clarity: The mediation effect of self-esteem, 2009)

How Your Attachment Style Influences Self-Esteem

It should come as no surprise that, if you feel insecure in your relationships in general, your sense of self may be less than optimal and, as the research shows, “dysfunctional attitudes and low self-esteem [are associated with] insecure attachment and symptoms of depression and anxiety.” (NIH.gov)

Still, what does all of this mean? Here is some perspective:

“Those with secure attachment styles had significantly higher self-esteem than those with fearful or preoccupied attachment styles.” (Huntsinger & Luecken, Attachment relationships and health behavior: The mediational role of self-esteem, 2004)

In virtually all cases, some 56% to 66%, those in the study displayed significantly higher levels of self-esteem and concurrent healthy behaviors when they were not coping with an insecure or fearful attachment style.

Needless to say, those with a solid sense of self, and a well-balanced sense of self-regard, tend to display more effective leadership qualities than those who struggle with self-regard issues.

If you are struggling with self-regard as a result of an insecure attachment style or pattern, my leadership coaching style may be the perfect choice to make you a more confident and effective leader. Click here to schedule your FREE Discovery Call.